Teens are erratic. There is no doubt. Some are more so than others but there is a general theme to that time of life. It isn't necessarily upbringing or even their DNA. It is simply brain development stages and what part of the brain has control of thoughts and emotions.
One of the first parts of our brain to have control is our Amygdala, a walnut-sized gland within the deep recesses of the brain. The Amygdala is involved in producing enzymes that give us the "flight or fight" feeling and tells our body to produce more Cortisol, a stress hormone, and Epinephrine, which increases our sensitivities and prepares the body for battle or flight. Those enzymes serve a purpose in real danger, but the growing teen has an overload of those enzymes and, therefore, the Amygdala rules the brain. This is why adulthood is considered at age eighteen and recent research shows true maturity develops in the early to mid twenties.
As the teen matures, the prefrontal cortex of the brain develops more control of emotions and thoughts. The teen becomes less self-absorbed and interested in higher-level thought. Empathy for others develops. The life focus becomes more mature. The Amygdala loses some of the gland's control.
Teens will do impulsive things because of their developing brains. It isn't their fault but driving home sensible principles can sometimes give them pause to consider a potential action. Because of this brain development pattern, it is unreasonable to hold a teen's actions against them later in life. The best we can do with teens is monitor their moods and make sure they are balanced. A moody teen may be a self-harming teen. You need to talk with your teen and show respect, while also commanding respect for yourself.
Teens often self-medicate their stress and depression with substances. A better alternative is to have your teen meet with a medication prescribing professional, handling their emotional strife with pharmaceutical help, rather than working with a "street pharmacist". Counseling can also help, as the teen may reveal issues more readily than with you or a teacher.
Nobody makes it through the teen years without some level of trauma, due to the control of the Amygdala, the prompt for our emotions. If your teen ends up causing trouble, be patient. Seek to monitor and guide them, until the front of their brain catches up to their developing adult body.
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